Twitter is like...

As most of you know, I have a love affair with Twitter that almost borders on obsession. Well, it turns out that I am far from alone on this one. I received a "tweet" this morning from fellow Twitterbud m4cks inviting the Twitterverse to play a little game with him...

Finish the following sentence. "Twitter is like ____________."

Needless to say, m4cks was shortly flooded with participants (including yours truly). The coolest part was that this little game turned out to be a great micro "who's who" of the Twitterverse!

So, my dear readers, if you've ever wondered what Twitter is all about, look no further! And if you're new to Twitter, you'll also find this as a great resource for some of the fun, creative and interesting characters that can be found there.

Enjoy!

thepunk Twitter is like walking into the middle of a hundred different interesting conversations.

primeluva Twitter is like a fat kid in a candy store. You can't just get enough...

mortonfox Twitter is like having a conversation in a noisy pub.

inkedmn Twitter is like freaking crack.

zik Twitter is like sliced bread.

Karoli Twitter is like passing notes in class.

CarrieP Twitter is like reading everyone's internal monologue.

wars128 Twitter is like cheese..its good!

mkhall Twitter = (the voices in my head) + (text messaging).

Anant Twitter is like a stalkers dream come true.

bbittner Twitter is like a friendly, enjoyable Rickroll

and

Twitter is like, a good place, to like not have to like deal with people, who, like, say the word "like" all the time.

amandalee @m4cks: twitter is my hot hot sex

lonesoph1st Twitter is like a cooler 90's IRC chat.

theberrygirl Twitter is like a phish show, circa 1993, but it smells better. (LOL! Well put! - Lola)

and

Twitter is like getting notes passed to you in class, from the really cool kids, all day.

alphabetting Twitter is like the voice of the masses shouting LOL as far as the eye can see.

and

Twitter is like the worlds biggest social lounge.

netdoc66 "Twitter is like going to a new chicks crib and sniffin the panties in in her dirty clothes hamper, wunderbar!" J/K'in that's nasty!

studionashvegas Twitter is a Ninja, AND a Pirate.

and

Twitter is like stalking someone you really like... but you have their permission first. But then again is it really stalking?

truetone Twitter is like the voice of the force. I feel a disturbance.

lycaon Twitter is a global orgasm.

and
Twitter is this person on a computer somewhere asking me what I think twitter is about

and

twitter is the stupid customer on the other end of my phone

and

twitter is the boyfriend I wish I had

and

twitter is like the night of passionate lovemaking I dream of having every night

and

twitter is like finding out she's pregant and it isn't yours

dknighton Twitter is the Spitzer-esque prostitute that will eventually cause me to lose my job and be publicly humiliated.

kolson29 Twitter is like having a bar full of ppl to talk to whenever I'm working about

AlisonL [Twitter is] a perfectly good reason to nose your way into everyone's business - and then opine away

croncast Twitter is like a samuri (sic) sword.

istarman Twitter is like reading the stream of consiousness (sic) from the 'net

spsmyth Twitter is like good sex that keeps going and going and going...

margalit [Twitter is] IM for grownups

rikoala Twitter is like all of those other voices in my head that won't shut up!!

and

Twitter is like that f#$&ing song I cannot get out of my head!

mitchellashley Twitter is like a bitch bucket for business travelers.

Bekemeyer Twitter is like, "Why is there air?"

WildMe Twitter is like a gang-bang with no sex

xtopher1974 Twitter is like a Robert Altman film -- a managed chaos of snippets of conversation, that somehow creates a whole. (PS - I lurve that! - Lola)

alphabetting Twitter is like lunch with your favorite chatty friends

storming Twitter is like a coffee shop. I like the passing notes one.

rickt Twitter is like the first time you managed to cop a drunken feel in the back stairway at the Blue Monkey listening to The Farm.

KarrieLyne Twitter is like a can of Pringles. "Once you pop, you can't stop!" =)

thecurio Twitter is like a place where both voyeurs and exhibtionists (sic) can enjoy themselves equally.

and

Twitter is like a loosely coupled, distributed publish/subscribe messaging infrastructure. Hmm. Not as interesting.

MarkDykeman Twitter is like being cloned at a particularly large and interesting party.

danzarrella Twitter is likeD by me?

decaturcomp Twitter isn't crack, that belongs to blackberry, twitter is x without all that silly hugging

K82 Twitter is like a box of chocolates that has been tainted by a thumb through the bottom of each, looking for the good ones. How rude!

deanpence [Twitter is like] … a cheating spouse. What's so great about hotdogsladies and chrisbrogan? Pay attention to me! :P

walelia Twitter is like glitter across the dark velvet of cyberspace

MountainDaisy Twitter is like being distracted by shiny pretty things.

lonesoph1st Twitter is like legal voyeurism.

beckymochaface Twitter is like wine, shoes and your favorite show served up as little Reese's pieces

studiorhoad Twitter is like a spouse after 40 years of marriage. Can't live without 'em. Can't shoot 'em. ;)

raw_knee Twitter is like messages in fortune cookies - you never know what you'd get but you know that it would fit in a short piece of paper.

Tatty [Twitter is like] a welcoming warm stay at home mom, when the outside world's gone mad.

mturro [Twitter is like] a crowded

hymeTwitter is like a trenchant FOOL

decaturcomp Twitter is like an Obama speech but with jokes.

Lolagrrl Twitter is like 140 little drops of awesome. I want to wrap it in a blanket and feed it Oreos.


lizziebeth [Twitter is like] Crack!

NeoGabox [Twitter is like] an alucinogen (sic)(I am not sure if its correctly written) mushroom... xDabout 3

adarshbhat Twitter is the real public radio

abiteofsanity [Twitter is like] high school...

CooperHawkes Twitter is like crack mixed with X-tasy that's been put into a bottle of beer..

And last but certainly not least:

DarJon Twitter is like.. well.. a micro-blogging platform.. =)

More on Twitter & Censorship from FoulBastard

Here's FoulBastard's Blog on the whole banning/flagging/censorship issue that arose from Twitter.

Here's the root of the problem folks... The "watchdog" model that Twitter (and many SocNet sites) follow is BAD news... There is no rhyme or reason (or business logic) behind the banning/Flagging process. ANYONE can flag/ban ANYONE for ANY reason and instead of investigating the issue, these sites just say, "OK!" Why according to this, all we need to do is flag EVERY Twitter user and then we will ALL be banned!

Censorship on Twitter?

Violation of 1st Amendment rights on Twitter or more bad customer service policies?. A Twitter-er has been banned because of content on a separate blog that incorporated user submissions. It seems to me that most social networks ban too many users for unspecified reasons. Login to Twitter and follow @FoulBastardArmy for details or check out the thread on Trumors.com

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Too Sexy!!

I'm about 5 or 6 years old and my Ma (or maybe it was my Gramma) had just bought me a play money set that came w/a little plastic wallet. Inside the plastic wallet is a little ID card for me to fill out and put in the plastic ID window of my plastic wallet that holds my plastic coins and fake money...

I decide that in order to make my fake plastic wallet look as real as possible, I MUST fill out my new ID Card in PEN!

My Ma was not big on giving me pens b/c as a left-handed child, I was a bit messy w/the pen and I usually wound up with more ink on me than on the paper... so, after much begging, my Ma hands me one of those new-fangled pens that had four different kinds of ink (oooo! Yeah! Just click on the color I want, and presto!)

With my prized, forbidden possesion in hand, I head down to the basement where I can concentrate on crafting my fabulous new ID card without interruption from my older brother and/or sister. I needed the silence to concentrate b/c I had the WORST handwriting in the WORLD! Even for a little kid, it was barely legibile!

Now this card was pretty tiny (like, 2x3 inches) so I ~really~ have to concentrate on this one!

I start oh so slowly... EeNNnnnnnnnnn - AAyyyyyyyyyyyyy - EeNnnnnnnnnnnnnn - CEeeeeeeeeee *deep breath* WWWWHHHHYYYYYYYYY *Whew*

MA?

WHAT?

HOW DO WE SPELL OUR LAST NAME?????

She tells me

MA?

WHAT?

WHERE DO WE LIVE?????

She tells me

MA?

WHAT?!!

WHAT'S A "P" AND A "H" WITH A TIC-TAC-TOE BOARD NEXT TO IT???????

WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?!?!?!?

I decide I better stop bugging her...

The next space on the ID card has only one word next to it ......... "SEX"

Now mind you, this story takes place in 1977-78, the disco revolution is in full swing and ~everything~ I hear on TV is punctuated by the word "Sexy."

Why, just the other night, we were watching "PM MAGAZINE" during dinner and I saw a story about the latest disco fad... People were wearing T-shirts to the clubs that had all their "stats" printed right on them... Age, "Sign" Height, Weight... so basically people can walk around and find people who are "Sexy"

I immediately think that this ID card is just like the T-shirts I saw on "PM Magazine"

Now, here's the conundrum... I'm a little kid... I have NO idea what "sexy" really means, but I know that it's ~very~ important to the adults... and what if I have to *gasp!* actually show my ID card to someone!! Oh man! I wish I hadn't pissed off my Ma! She could've told me how to handle this adult situation! If I admit that I'm not sexy, then I'm not "cool" but if I say I am sexy... then what do I do if someone sees My ID card?!? I'm a Kid fer cryin' out loud!! Why would someone put such a loaded question in a ~kid's~ toy??!?!?

Finally, after much debate, I decide that I need to be "cool" above all else... Then I look at the card and see that the space provided for me to provide how "sexy" I am is really, really ~small~... so the opus I planned to pen about how I came to my conclusion is limited to ONE word... Finally, my pre-school brain had enough... I had to play along... I begin to write on my card...

DINNERTIME!

My ma calls me upstairs, I must return my Ma's pen before I go wash up for dinner... "So what have you been doing down there in the basement sweetie?" she asks as I hand back her pen... Confused and embarrassed of the fact that a fake ID card in a ~child's~ toy would actually ask me how "sexy" I thought I was just in case someone needed to know AND I had to sum it up in one word... I tried to explain the dilemma I had experienced to my Ma... but I was overcome so I thrust the card into my mommy's hand as I ran to wash up for dinner...

My family's laughter chased me up the stairs.. The single word I chose to write next to "sex" was...

"A lot"



You may commence with the laughter. :D

Lost in Translation

Here's an old favorite from an old hard-to-find blog of mine... I laughed so hard when I re-read it, I had to share it again to my new tens of readers. ;D

My Mom used to play the piano all the time when I was younger. I ~loved~ to watch her play! Her favorite music to play was Ragtime. She had a bunch of Scott Joplin sheet music and her two favorite pieces of his were "The Maple Leaf Rag" and "Solace"

Well, for some reason, that music popped into my head so I went to this website to dowload it (shhhh!)

Anyway... I only found one version of "Solace" (it has Itszak Perlman playing violin to the piano rag... not bad!) I see that the source also has some Flamenco Guitar as well so I start downloading that too when I suddenly get an IM from the source... it's in a different language. I recognize that it's a romance language and I'm pretty sure that it's Italian, but I have ~no~ idea what it says so I type back, "I'm sorry. I don't understand you." I get another reply of gibberish but the first word is "Scuza" (sp?)

Now, I know that... that's Italian so I write back Italiano? I get a "Si" so I decide (do not ask me why) to try to communicate with this person... Maybe it's because that's kinda' what I tend to do all the time... in work and in life... Anyway, I type something along the lines of "I'm American. I speak un poco espanol ... very poorly. See? I couldn't even remember the verb "to speak" ... I'm hopeless.

Then I remember... I have a friend at work who is teaching himself to speak Spanish. To me, this means that foreign language is fresher in his brain than it is in mine... So I print out the next reply I get which is, "io capisco poco spagnolo :-) sei molto brava" I call him up but there's no answer, so I run downstairs b/c I figure he's prolly outside smoking. I burst outside and shove this paper under his nose and ask him if he knows what this means... He doesn't know but he says he'll find out for me...

That's when I have my "light bulb moment." Duh... I'll go to one of those translation web sites and figure it out. So, by the time I get back upstairs and find a translation site, my friend gets back to me with this...

"io capisco poco spagnolo = I understand a little spanish.
sei molto brava = sei is six, molto brava is like 'very good' or something.
Wierd..."

I get about the same thing at the same time... He tells me that it's even funnier when you generate an english interpretation from the translation of your original english message...

So, I start to try to converse with this person and every time I translate a sentence from English to Italian, I translate ~that~ translation back to English just to see if it's making sense... and that's where it started...

The following is the conversation I had... After it was over, I hit the back buttons on my browser and saved it b/c it was just too damn funny to me. The person's name was Maria... I think... What you will read is what the website translated from her, what I wrote back (in English) and What I "really" said according to the web site... hee hee!

MARIA: I understand little Spanish. six much good one (this is the point when I write uno momento) and run outside to talk to my buddy.

ME: Hello, I'm back. I found a translation web page.
WHAT I REALLY SAID: Hello, they are behind. I have found a Web page of translation.

MARIA: I would drive crazy to serve some to me in order to express to me... come calls to you?

(at this point, I email my friend this message... agreeing that these translation websites do suck... He replies, "Well, shit, I would drive crazy to serve some to me in order to express to me as well!! Woudn't you?") LOL!!!! That was priceless. :::giggling like crazy!!:::

ME: hmmm. Maybe this web page is no good. That made little sense.
WHAT I REALLY SAID: hmmm. Perhaps this Web page is good. That one has had small the meant one.

MARIA: six much good one. of I was sure... qual' is your name? I of it do not have one true. chimano me to second of humor.... nearly pits one music : -)
(WHAT?! By now I'm thinking of my Parasite Pals lunchbox with the "engrish" that says, "Tickles Tapeworm like much the good food. Great friends we are to the extremity. LOVE ME! TAPEWORM!")

ME: My name is Nancy. I could not understand what you said about music.
WHAT I REALLY SAID: My name is Nancy. I could not understand that what you have said approximately music.

MARIA: you have reason... mi I call Maria

(The next part actually works out perfectly... I say Hi back and ask her where she lives in Italy. She tells me she lives in Palermo which is in Sicily)

ME: Palermo must be lovely. I live in Florida.
WHAT I REALLY SAID: Palermo must be beautiful. Alive in Florida.

MARIA: it is beautiful Palermo, a lot sciupata in true... Florida will be charming I I believe

ME: It is nice. I moved here from New York one year ago.
WHAT I REALLY SAID: He is pleasant. A year is moved me here from new York makes.

(here's where I think we both realize that we are hardly communicating...)

MARIA: never they have not been in America physically, but ideally they have been end where son succeeded to embrace : -) not me muoverò more from Palermo quì morirò : -)
((WHAT?! I try to stay on whatever track I can..))

ME: My ancestors are from France and Italy. I would like to go there someday. :)
WHAT I REALLY SAY: My ancestors come from France and Italy. I would want to go some day here:) (not bad...)

(~here's~ where any semblance of understanding goes ~right~ out the window) :-D hee hee!!!

Maria: creed that all we have ancestors in common... non you will truly remain disappointed....

ME: That was a little hard to understand but I do have some family still in Italy... somewhere. I only met them once when I was very young.
WHAT I REALLY SAID: That one was little a hard one to understand but I have still sure family in Italy... in some place. I have come them to contact only once when I was much young person

MARIA: it does not count the time that passes I not vredo of having one family, but not ago nothing

LOL! So it's here that my boss comes into my office to introduce me to this girl who will be helping me with some research... He asks me what I'm doing and I sheepishly look at him and say, "Ummm... blasting the Sex Pistols on my iTunes?" By the time I'm done talking with her, my new friend Maria is gone... swirling back into the Palermo sunset... or the flipping of her lap top shut is ending and bring to it the exit of the cafe full of internet ... who knows? ;)