Youth is Wasted on the Young...

"Cigarettes can kill you," singsonged the too cute, too thin "tweener" girl as she passed; flanked by her too lanky, too kewl sk8ter bois.

I had just made my way out of the "Super" Target after a grueling 2 hours - my favorite vice firmly embraced between my lips, laden with an overflowing cart and grateful for the sweet, sweet journey into flavor country after a very introspective afternoon.

Get the flip out. Theese things can ~kill~ me?!?! Get... the... FLIP... OUT!!!!

You have no idea what you just said, did you? Do you think your words just delivered me into the hands of salvation? Did you say that to make your cuties there think you have balls? Are you exerting smugness over me as if to say, "Look at me! I have my own mind! I won't succumb to your Gen X nhilistic ways. My body is my temple... and I've never even heard of Joe Camel, much less ~seen~ a phone with a rotary dial or have had to get up to change the channel! You are Grrl 1.0 - out moded, while I am Grrl 2.0! Whatever happened to you will never touch me for I am immortal!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!"

For the record, I get it... how could this slip of a girl have any insight into my life. How could she possibly know that I once was "Francy Schmancy: QUEEN OF POTATOES," or that I went to a party thrown by Glen Danzig... or that I actually have my own midget story for cryin' out loud?!?

Note to self: Retrieve Midget Story from old blog and repost here... Add link in this blog when done.

My sweeping generalization for the day:
People just have no concept of time and youth is wasted on the young.

Not 30 minutes ago, I found myself in the Toy section... a thing I do less and less with each shopping trip as I grow older... Not so much because I'm growing older but because the toy section is just one big commercial. All the cool, weird, toys are now online (here's an example).

Anyway, as I strolled the aisles, searching in vain for something neat, I overheard a mother's comments to her (12-ish) daughter...

"Honey, don't you think you are getting too old for toys?"

Her reply:

"No ma! I just wanna look for..." blah blah blah (fade)

I wanted so badly to reach out, grasp that woman's arm and say, "Whatever it is your daughter wants... buy it. Don't argue, just buy it. Trust me when I say this... you will find yourself regretting that those words ever left your lips in about 6 months."

That right there is a product of my lame psychic abilities. I still regret not doing that. I even went back to find her but then I realized how weird that would be.

The thing is, who the hell am I to say that to her?!? I have no children.
Yeah, I've thought about it and yeah; I know that I would be a great Mom, but ... well... In my heart of hearts, I don't think that it's because I'm suddenly selfish, I think it's because I don't want to go down that road unless I can be there like my mom was... and right now, I can't be there. Plus, I think that maybe a person like me needs to do something more... like take in foster children or something...

Note to self: Look back to 2-3 years ago... Savor the irony of it all for a moment...

I want to give that tweener girl my email address and tell her to look me up in 20 years or so in order to apologize for her naivete' and tell me that she now grasps the uselessness of her remark...

I want to tell her that we are all dying and that I already know that I regret ever starting the smoking, but thanks anyway...

I want to tell her that she should shut the fuck up, go inside, buy herself a sammich and actually DIGEST it for a change...

I want to tell her that girls who wear long sleeves (like she does) in 98-degree weather have a lot more to worry about than the state of my lungs...

I want to flick my cigarette at her face and relive my old-school Roit Grrl ways...

and I want to thank her...

While she may not know it, she's inspired me to ~write~ for the first time in a long time. =)

So, UP YOURS TWEENER GIRL!!!!! >;D