Meh for the mehs AMA

I shall remain a turd polisher forever. But my passion and belief of what we *could* have done with social media, marketing, and business marketing will last with me forever...
So
AMA on any subject. I may give you one of my multi million ideas. All I ask is that you give me 1%. That's a fair, small number for changing your life and it's a HUGE number for me to build my not-for-profit dream
You literally have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I'm an open book. 😏

Vitamins and Irony

How funny is it that I can write copy for any situation or need for just about any industry, but I'm struggling with my own copy?!?

I've been working on my own lil' freelance business ((Turd Polishing for the masses!)) and I'm having trouble with my web copy. I mean, it's sitting in my brain just fine.
Problem is, I can't make it professional-sounding with out wanting to make it funny. Either that or I want to make it funny and still be taken seriously... or something...or maybe I've just had too much to think.

Turd Wear!

I opened a Spreadshirt shop and uploaded the Turd Polisher logo. You can choose the design and place it on a shirt or buy one of my pre-made shirts. Either way, I make a whopping $5. Woo hoo! ;D

Spreadshirt

the "official" turd polisher

Vector version for messenger bags, white letter version and more designs coming soon! :D

Turd-L-Wax

I've been working on a BIG project so I haven't had much time to blog. However, a few days ago, I met yet another Turd Polisher! He's a news cameraman in Louisiana (see? Turd Polishers can be found in any profession!) Anyway, this blog has some great stories in it, so go check it out.

Which brings me to my next thought... Whilst browsing through my new friend's blog, I came across this lovely gem:

...and it made me think of those old 70's Game shows where the losing contestant always won "a year's supply of Turtle Wax." It always struck me as funny how the loser would get all excited when they heard this particular news, like the UPS guy was going to back up a truck to their garage and unload cases of the stuff or something... but if you think about it, a year's supply of Turtle Wax is ONE flippin' can!!!!

I mean, c'mon, how many times are you gonna wax your car in a year?!?!

Best polished turd ever!

I have my work cut out for me...

I am the least Machiavellian person I know...

I quit my job of three and a half years. Last Wednesday, I had the 1,001 meltdown stemming from total frustration and my lack of being able to get anywhere with my ideas... At this point, I feel it's important to clarify one really weird thing about myself, I've discovered that I ~like~ to work. I like creating Marketing Strategies, I like writing copy, I like planning ahead, I actually like rhetoric (well, I like recognizing it and/or creating it)... Regardless, I like my line of work!!!

Now, while I like being paid for my worth, I also like EARNING it. So it was always shocking to me that I never seemed to get anywhere. I don't want to be the boss. Bosses don't get to do the work. All I want to do is discover if the notions I have about my intended audiences are right. I want to know what makes someone click on a link, open a piece of mail or respond to one offer over another. I want to take a project that has a low response rate and see if my changes affect it...

Anyway, I finally had the last meltdown over my work. I did not go in on Thursday. Instead, I arranged an interview, got another job with more responsibility and more money (I'm not a masochist either). On Friday, I ended my love/hate relationship with the job that brought me here in the first place and I started fresh this Monday.

Everyone around me seemed impressed enough... They couldn't believe how fast I moved. But all I could think of is why did I put up with the bull for as long as I did? The answer: because I simply could not believe that my turn would not come. I "paid my dues" I polished alllll those turds and I did it with a smile! I shared my ideas. I wrote proposal after proposal. How could they not love me?!?!

Last week, I would have felt sorry for myself. Today, I just feel stupid. I mean, what kind of a Marketer am I?

Now... I'm in a position where I have the opportunity to do everything I've ever wanted to do work-wise... except it was all due last week. ;D

Hahahaha! I seriously need to be very careful what I wish for! =)

At the same time, I don't think I have ever felt so damn determined in my whole life! I will grab this damn job by the flippin' balls and make it understand so help me!!!!

Feh... I'm going nowhere with this blog. I just had to get that out of me and into the aether so I can concentrate or something.

Does Anybody Read This Thing?

Well, if you do, I need some feedback. I'm working on a logo of sorts for shits & giggles.... oh man... yeah, I just caught the pun there. ;)

Anyway, tell me what you think. You can use the ClickComments below if yer shy but it would be nice to know who's out there and get some real feedback... for uh, yeah, this here gleaming pile o' crap. ;D

BWAHAHAHA!

Is that a Polished Turd I see before me?

I recently discovered a really cool company called Postreach - Makers of ClickComments, a nifty lil' feature now lovingly attached to my blog. Their premise is simple and genius:

Only 0.1% of readers comment regularly! 5% occasionally comment and 94.9% never comment because they don't want to provide their email address or register.

Clickcomments eliminates these barriers and provides readers a simple and expressive way to respond to your posts...

Clickcomments makes it easy for readers to send you an expressive comment with just one click on an icon. The clickcomment counter gets updated immediately for everyone to see. A reader can give different clickcomments on [one] post...

Needless to say, the only thing ClickComments has really done for me right now is show me that nobody is reading my blog! ... Oh well, that's not their fault.=)

But the one thing that I personally love about ClickComments is their Icon for "Cool Stuff"... Look closely, dear reader, is that a picture of a highly polished turd I see?!

Or is it a picture of the top of a Dairy Queen Soft-serve cone (cool stuff indeed!)
In an effort to uncover the truth, I wrote to the clever folks behind this super fun blog tool and lo and behold... They wrote back!
Thanks to Hans for solving the mystery!!

The 'cool stuff' icon started off as 'hot shit', but a red one could be
interpreted as 'flaming pile of shit'. so we made it 'cool shit' and
tuned it down to be PG-13 with 'cool stuff'.

When we were first covered on a big tech blog many people thought our service was a gag website instead of a real service because of that icon. We wanted to be a bit edgy. However, we never knew that our international adoption would be so big. The 'cool stuff' doesn't translate well as an icon nor linguistically...

Well, Hans, it may not translate too well but as a Professional Turd Polisher - it speaks to me on an oh so personal level. =)

Now... how about that flaming pile of shit button? I'd be sure to get me some comments going if you had that! ;D